


will you love me?

by Luau



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, also spoilers for the silver sky CD rabbit chat i guess, spoilers for part 2!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-19 23:41:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7382263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luau/pseuds/Luau
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Banri thought they were invincible.</p><p>There was nothing else in their way. They were about to debut, him and Yuki, the dream the two of them shared about to be realised. But, things don't work out as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	will you love me?

**Author's Note:**

> this is a young and beautiful songfic. i died writing this fic i'm actually ghost typing this rn  
> i'm dedicating this to kelly and kim who are also in banre:vale hell. send help  
> pls enjoy!

 

 

 

 

_i've seen the world, done it all_

_had my cake now_

_diamonds, brilliant_

_and bel air now_

 

 

 

 

 

Banri thought they were invincible.

There was nothing else in their way. They were about to debut, him and Yuki, the dream the two of them shared about to be realised. But, things don't work out as planned.

Both Banri and Yuki realise this in the aftermath of the incident: You can't defy Kujou Takamasa. Yuki jumped up at his offer to help Banri after the accident, but Banri wanted no part of it. He spent one last night enjoying himself and then he ran, away from the spotlight,

away from the idol life,

away from Yuki.

Or so he thought.

 

_hot summer nights, mid july_

_when you and i were forever wild_

_the crazy days, city lights_

_the way you'd play with me like a child_

 

 

Yuki hasn't stopped searching since Banri disappeared.

  
Everyday, he calls his investigators, pesters them about the search, gets frustrated all over again. As Re:vale's fifth anniversary approaches, he only gets more frantic. He knows Momo worries about him so he tries to keep a smile around him, and around idolish7 now that they've gotten close. But it's hard. It's so hard, and Yuki spends every free waking moment thinking about his old partner, and how it was like they were on top of the world, capable of doing anything.

Yuki likes what he has with Momo, thinks it's irreplaceable, but he misses what he had with Banri. He misses the easy flow of their conversations, without the comedy act. He misses the way their bodies fit together on a too-small bed. He misses how Banri would hum to himself when in the kitchen, as opposed to Momo's loud singing. He misses Banri's warmth.

He misses their nights together, bodies moving against the sheets in a slow, passionate dance.  
          He misses having to cover up hickeys and bruises with scarves and concealer.  
                    He misses their small lives.

Yuki really, _really_ misses Banri, and the worst part is he doesn't even know if he's alive.

 

 

_will you still love me_

_when i'm no longer_

_young and beautiful?_

 

 

Desperation.

The Zero Arena re-opening concert is a couple of days away, and Yuki is beside himself with nerves. Not about performing, no, but about finding Ban. How has it taken so long to find one man, how hasn't he found him yet? He doesn't want to jump to conclusions. The Ban he knew wouldn't have died or left Japan, so why can't he

find

 

_will you still love me_

_when i've got nothing_

_but my aching soul?_

 

There's no real reason he didn't reach out to Yuki. Not once in five years. Of course he still keeps up with Re:vale, but it's not as if he's a part of them anymore. Yuki has a new colour, a new symbol. A new partner. Banri doesn't think he has a right to feel so ~~jealous~~

He'll settle for being their fan. He doesn't go to shows, hasn't been near a stage since --

No, he can support them from his office and from the comfort of his own home. He can support them in any way he can.

It doesn't stop him from taking out old CDs past midnight. The sounds of pre-debut Re:vale spill from his speakers and he sits at his table, nursing a glass of scotch. His phone rests in his hand - he still has Yuki's number (he knows it's still Yuki's; one night, against his better judgement, he called it from a payphone. Yuki's soft voice had answered, and Banri had hung up without even breathing.)

(Part of him wants to hope Yuki never changed his number hoping one day he would call. Another part of him calls himself a fool.)

Banri pulls the tie out of his hair and it falls around him, hiding him from invisible eyes and the guilt of being a coward.

 

_i know you will, i know you will_

_i know you will_

_will you still love me_

_when i'm no longer_

_young and beautiful?_

When Mitsuki and Nagi ask him about it, he plays it off.

  
_I'm just a fan_ , he says. Luckily, they drop the subject after enough vague answers. Banri goes home early that day, puts their old songs on, pours himself more scotch.

It's not enough.

He searches through his DVD cabinet; someone had taped one of their lives before and sent it to them. He shoves it in the player, sitting on the floor with the remote squeezed in his grip.

On screen, he and Yuki sing. The fact that Re:vale writes their own songs never changed and even now, when listening to the current Re:vale, Banri still knows which lines are straight from Yuki's heart. The Re:vale of the past, the short-haired Banri and Yuki, sing about nonsense and laugh at each other on the screen. Banri turns the volume up and keeps his eyes on the tv.

It's not enough.

Yuki hangs up after yet another unsuccessful check-in with the investigators. The temptation to just -- fling the phone away, to break something, _anything_ , is so strong, he --

Momo's warm hands clap down on his shoulders. Yuki jumps and drops the phone. Momo just smiles and proceeds to give him a shoulder massage, putting pressure in just the right places like he always did. Momo understands Yuki so easily, it makes Yuki feel like he's

It's not enough.

Yuki turns and wraps his arms around Momo's waist, buries his face in his stomach. Momo's peach-apple scent engulfs him but it's not as terrible as he used to think it was. No, now, it's more like

home

Momo pats his hair and hums a lullaby. He knows Yuki doesn't need words right now, only comfort. He eyes the fallen phone and his humming goes a little flat - he corrects himself with a giggle, cards his fingers through Yuki's hair gently. It's unfair, to resent Ban for this. He can't do this.

It's not enough. 

 

_i've seen the world, lit it up,_

_as my stage now_

_channeling angels in_

_the new age now_

 

 

The first and second days of the reopening concert go as planned. Read as: no interferences from any Zero imposters or anyone else. That was to be expected, though; there was no issue with TRIGGER's or idolish7's participation in the concert. Just Re:vale's, due to the cover song. Yuki and Momo know better than to change their minds over something like this, though they cannot deny that they were a little shaken. First Momo's voice, now this -- 

Momo reassures Yuki that yes, he  _can_ sing (and he sings Silver Sky as proof; Yuki's heart skips a beat when Momo hits his high note during the bridge, just like it has every time he hears it) and he's working on the cover song. Yuki can't help but worry. He's already lost one partner, what would he do if

                                                                                         something happened to

                                                                                                                                           Momo . . . ?

 

_hot summer days, rock n roll_

_the way you play for me at your show_

_and all the ways i got to know_

_your pretty face and electric soul_

 

 

Some days, it's just so hard. 

Momo tries to remember what he was like before he became Yuki's partner.

He remembers the very first show he went to. His sister'd dragged him to it, even though she had three other of her friends there too. Momo remembers feeling a little out of place, because his crowd was more with athletes and cheerleaders and -- 

He falls in love the moment he sees Yuki on stage, his pale hands wrapped around a microphone. His short grey hair bobbing as he dances along, as he smiles at his partner on stage -- Ban-san, he'd later come to know. Momo's entranced by Yuki's very being and his sister doesn't even need to ask him to come along to the next show. 

Momo approaches them after one live, congratulates them. Before he can introduce himself, Banri exclaims. 

"Ah, you're the middle-schooler!"

Momo blinks. "Eh?" 

He explains he's actually in high school (and he plays soccer!), and Banri apologises. They offer him a drink, and Momo finds out their ages. He's shocked, knowing that they're only, at most, two years older than he is. He speaks of how his sister dragged him along to the first show, and how he's been coming voluntarily ever since because he just  _loves_ their music -- 

Yuki looks over at him, right in the eye, and gives Momo the most beautiful smile he's ever seen in his life. Momo falls even harder. 

He keeps going to their lives, cheering for them and supporting them with all he can. Yuki would sometimes find him in the crowd and wink. (One time, he blows a kiss into the audience and Momo can't help but feel it was for him.) He even helps clear up misunderstandings and after Bloody Eve, gets their email addresses. He saves Yuki's with a little heart next to the name, and emails both of them every couple of days to make sure they're good. He sends them pictures of his graduation from high school and they congratulate him. They send him pictures of their every day life, like Ban with his hair in a tiny ponytail cooking, or Ban with a guitar on his lap, or Ban asleep on Yuki's shoulder --

Okay, Yuki was usually the one who sent candids of Ban and while Momo appreciated seeing him in a domestic setting, he'd have definitely preferred pictures of Yuki. Once in a while, Ban would send one of Yuki with his bangs pushed back, applying a green face mask to his skin. Momo burst out laughing and saved the picture immediately and somehow resisted the urge to set it as his phone's wallpaper. 

Momo was also there for the accident.

 

 

_will you still love me_

_when i'm no longer_

_young and beautiful?_

_will you still love me_

_when i've got nothing_

_but my aching soul?_

_i know you will, i know you will_

_i know that you will_

_will you still love me_

_when i'm no longer beautiful?_

 

 

Banri hears the light creaking before it falls. It's a terrible sound, heavy metal groaning. And then it starts falling, and it's headed right towards

" _YUKI!_ "

_no_

Banri runs, runs quickly across the stage, quickly to push a terrified Yuki out of the way. He pushes him away in time, but the light comes down on him instead, and Banri doesn't remember what happens after that. 

 

 

_dear lord, when i get to heaven_

_please let me bring my man_

 

 

Yuki screams, scrambling to push the fallen light off of Banri. 

"Ban, Ban Ban please be alright please be alright BanpleaseBan," he repeats like a mantra, tears streaking down his face. 

There's a gash on Banri's forehead and there's blood everywhere. Momo's on the stage with him now, his jacket off and pressed against the wound. One of the stage crew comes to their senses and frantically calls an ambulance. Yuki sits on the stage, rocking Banri's limp body in his arms. He doesn't even register the fans screaming, crying, yelling his name over and over. Momo stands, picks up a fallen microphone and tells everyone to leave and after what feels like hours, they finally do. It's just Yuki, Momo, the stage crew, and an unconscious Banri left. 

 

 

_when he comes, tell him that you'll let him in_

_father tell me if you can_

 

 

Of course, Yuki rides in the back of the ambulance with Banri. Momo knows he needs someone with him, so he hops on his bicycle and follows them. They take Banri to emergency surgery and Yuki collapses on a chair in the waiting area, head in his hands, Banri's blood on his clothes. Momo sits next to him, unsure of what to say. 

"Momo-kun," Yuki says softly. 

"Yeah?"

"What do I do if he..." he trails off, heaving in a breath between his fingers.

"You can't think like that, Yuki-san. Ban-san's a strong guy, he won't -- He won't d-" 

"Shut up, shut up! Don't say it." 

Momo rests a hand on Yuki's shaking back and pats him, his stomach twisted with worry for both men. 

"Ah, Yuki-san, you're bleeding..." Yuki'd cut his arm when Banri pushed him, but he didn't care. It seemed pointless to go get a little cut treated when his partner was -- 

 

 

_oh that grace, oh that body_

_oh that face makes me wanna party_

 

 

The doctor lets them see Banri for about five minutes. He suffered a concussion and he'd have a scar, but it was a miracle he didn't get hurt worse. Yuki almost faints in relief, and Momo keeps an arm around him as support. 

They can't stay all night, though. Visiting hours end and Momo goes to call his sister to come pick them up in her car. Banri'd stay in the hospital, but Momo convinced Yuki to spend the night at his place and luckily, Yuki agreed. While Momo's gone, though, a man approaches Yuki and speaks of plastic surgery, speaks of therapy, speaks of a debut. Yuki agrees immediately, thinking Banri would do the same for him. The man disappears before Momo comes back, and they leave.

It's only when he's lying in Momo's bed that night does Yuki realise the man was Kujou, and his blood runs cold. 

The next day, Banri wakes up and Yuki tells him about the deal. Banri stays quiet, blames it on his head. After Yuki leaves, the doctors tell Banri they can discharge him soon. He doesn't tell Yuki. 

 

 

_he's my sun, he makes me shine_

_like diamonds_

 

 

He brings home a bottle of Yuki's favourite wine. Momo's there, too, and both of them cling to Banri in the hallway. When they finally pull away, Banri's shirt is wet with their tears, and he laughs it off as he goes to change it. He's not allowed to drink yet, so he watches as Yuki and Momo make their way through the bottle, smiles as it gets late. He excuses himself, saying his meds have him drowsy, and retires to the bedroom. He locks the door. 

Banri is tired, yes, but he also packs up most of his things into a bag and hides it where Yuki wouldn't look. Then he can unlock the door. He lies in bed, unable to sleep because of what he's gonna do. He's gonna leave Yuki, after five years, without saying anything. Touching the bandage on his head, Banri sighs and closes his eyes. From the kitchen, he can hear Momo drunkenly singing one of their songs, and he smiles. Well, at least he won't be leaving Yuki alone. 

 

 

_will you still love me_

_when i'm no longer_

_young and beautiful?_

_will you still love me_

_when i've got nothing_

_but my aching soul?_

 

 

The next morning, he gets up early and peeks out of the room. Momo and Yuki are passed out on the kitchen table, so Banri gets himself ready, grabs his bag, a couple of blankets and his note. He covers the two and leaves the note between them and leaves without looking back, his heart aching all the while. 

He doesn't go back to his parents' house. That's the first place Yuki would look for him. Instead, he rents rooms in cheap motels until he can find a new job and apartment. When push comes to shove, he spends the night at internet cafes. This is how Takanashi Otoharu finds him; young, good-looking, well-dressed yet dejected. Banri tells him his story without any details and Takanashi hires him immediately. He even helps Banri look for a new apartment and helps him get settled.

His new job may still deal with entertainment, but he thinks he can come to love being behind the scenes too.

 

 

_i know you will_

_i know you will_

_i know that you will_

_will you still love me_

_when i'm no longer beautiful?_

 

 

It's Re:vale's day to perform at the Zero Arena reopening concert. Yuki paces up and down their dressing room while Momo sits on the couch, humming scales softly. Yuki excuses himself and leaves the room. 

He goes outside and leans against the railings, breathing in the crisp air. It'll be okay. He's not going to let anything happen to Momo.

He's not going to lose another partner. 

When he's calm, Yuki goes back inside and runs into Momo, and they chat on their way back to the room. Gaku comes and takes Momo away for something, so Yuki goes back into the dressing room to wait. 

"Yamato-kun?"

 

 

_will you still love me_

_when i'm no longer beautiful?_

 

 

It's Ban. It's Ban! After five years, he finally showed up again! And his name is Banri!

Yuki practically clings to him at the afterparty, not wanting to let the man out of his sight for even two minutes. He even stays back to help clean up, just the two of them. They talk about Re:vale's success. Banri apologises for leaving, for not calling, for not saying anything. Yuki cries and kisses him.

 

 

_will you still love me_

_when i'm not_

_young and beautiful?_

 

 

They go back to Banri's place after cleaning, both of them drunk on each other's kisses. As soon as they get through the door, their clothes start coming off. Banri's hands run along Yuki's pale skin, careful not to press in too hard. 

Their kisses get sloppier as their bodies start moving together, hips rolling against hips, legs tangled together. Banri's dark hair spills against Yuki's grey. Yuki can't keep in his moans but Banri encourages them anyway. After all, he's always loved the sound of Yuki moaning his name. They come together, fingers entwined.

Yuki pushes Banri's bangs back and looks at the scar. Banri feels a little uncomfortable but allows it; what he's not ready for is the kiss Yuki presses to it, feather-light and ticklish. 

They fall asleep with their bodies pressed together, much like they used to before. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> this was a pain to format.  
> i feel like the characterisation might be a bit off so i'm sorry!!!! but honestly a lot of this is headcanons bc y'know. the Reveal was so anti-climatic and all. but yeah!! thank you for reading, i hope you enjoyed!! hmu on twitter @sougoryuu !! pls consider leaving a comment/kudos!!


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